


Garrus' Song

by keita52



Series: Reach and Flexibility [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Colonist (Mass Effect), F/M, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Shipping, Songfic, so many feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 00:54:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4501560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keita52/pseuds/keita52
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Song Shepard and Garrus Vakarian’s relationship throughout the Mass Effect series, with the song “M4, Part 2” as the inspiration.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This idea has been in my head for quite some time. I thought that the credits song for Mass Effect was fantastic and it quickly became one I was willing to listen to over and over again. At some point I realized how many of the lyrics could be interpreted as describing a Shepard/Vakarian relationship (if you’re already shipping them). Right before I started this I was feeling an itch to write something purely shippy, a love story if you will. Then I started a playthrough of Mass Effect 2, got to Omega, and the story finally started coming together.
> 
> Song Shepard was inspired by the character Wei Song from Guy Gavriel Kay’s Under Heaven. I highly recommend all of Kay’s work.
> 
> This is your final warning. This is an ode to Shakarian. There’s no original plot, no nuanced exploration of Mass Effect themes. This is a love story in vignettes.

_I_  
_Have wondered about you_  
_Where will you be_  
_When this is through_

_2183  
Normandy SR-1_

“So, what’s on your mind?” Garrus asked lightly, leaning against the side of the Mako. He wondered when he had started looking forward to these talks he was having with Song Shepard. Probably about the time that he realized she was making a habit of coming to talk to him. 

Song also leaned against the Mako and met his gaze. “What will you do when this is over?” she asked. “Go back to C-Sec? Somehow I can’t see you being happy there again.”

“I wasn’t happy there,” Garrus replied. Of course, she knew that already. He’d told her all about it - more than he would have expected he’d confess to anyone, much less this small, quiet human. “But I - you know, I hadn’t really thought about it.” He laughed softly. “Maybe I’ve been avoiding thinking about it, because there’s no obvious answer. I can’t go back to C-Sec, but there aren’t a lot of other things that I would _want_ to do.”

“What about trying to become a Spectre again?” Song asked. “You were considered once. And you’ve got someone willing to sponsor you for them.” Her smile was somewhat shy. “Seems backwards, though. You taught me more about being a Spectre than Nihlus did.”

“Well, that’s only because he died.” Garrus was warmed by the thought that he had taught her anything of significance, much less _how to be a Spectre._ “If we go by that standard, pretty much everyone on the Normandy had something worth teaching you.”

“Yes.” Song’s voice held a quiet intensity. He knew that tone by now. It was her don’t-mess-with-me-I-mean-it tone. It gave him a moment’s pause, but only a moment. He didn’t think that she was mad at him, he just hadn’t expected her to be so insistent about - whatever was on her mind. “But you taught me the most. About striving to do what’s right. When this all started, I was _this_ close to becoming a cold, ruthless killer. You gave me something I’d been missing for years - a connection to people as a whole. Your stories about C-Sec and the good you did there - they made a difference, Garrus. A large one.”

“I -” Garrus stopped, uncertain how to respond to that. “I’m glad,” he finally said. “And honored.”

Song smiled and reached out her hand to take his and squeeze it gently. “The honor has been mine,” she said. They stood in silence for a too-short moment before one of the crew called for Commander Shepard, leaving Garrus alone with his thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

  
_If all_   
_If all goes as planned_   
_Will you redeem_   
_My life again_   
_My life again_   


_2185_  
 _Omega_

Garrus was so tired that he almost missed it when three of the freelancers turned on the others.

He knew he was getting sloppy, but so far none of the freelancers had _made_ him sit up and pay attention to them. They were cannon fodder. He almost felt sorry for them, but feeling anything beyond a numb weariness was beyond him just then.

Garrus watched through his scope as one of the freelancers lifted his (or her) glowing blue hand and pushed a biotic field towards the exposed back of another freelancer. That was the signal for the biotic’s companions to strike. Garrus frowned as he examined them. He thought that the one-horned salarian must be Professor Solus - but what was he doing out of his clinic, in such incongruous company? The biotic’s other companion was a grizzled human with a face showing the number of fights he’d lived through. 

The biotic himself was moving with a grace that he’d seen in only one other person. But Song Shepard hadn’t been a biotic. Not to mention that she had been dead these past two years. It had to be wishful thinking on his part. The situation was so bad that only Song’s unique brand of cold, focused destruction and sabotage could get him out. Which meant that he wasn’t getting out.

Garrus took a shot at the biotic - a concussive round only - and then sat back to watch someone else doing the hard work for a change. He kept his rifle trained on the other freelancers that came out, cautiously, in the trio’s wake, while devoting part of his attention to listening for the sounds of battle behind him. He needed to be prepared just in case this was some kind of ruse.

A few minutes later, they came up behind him and didn’t shoot him in the back. And then his life changed, pivoting on an axis in a way that it had only done once before.

“Archangel?”

That was _her_ voice. Song Shepard was back from the dead.


	3. Chapter 3

  
_Fallow fields the way you sow_   
_Water down your empty soul_   
_Wake the sea of silent grow_   
_Water down your empty soul_   


_2183_  
_Citadel_  


Song Shepard was not what Garrus had been expecting. For one thing, she was short. Garrus knew that humans were shorter than turians, on average, and the woman in the center of the group that approached him was shorter than her two companions. Even without the red-and-white stripe on her arm, and the N7 on her chest, Garrus would have known which of the three was the famed Commander Shepard. The other two were doing their best not to look too obvious about the fact that they were gawking at the Presidium. Commander Shepard, the soldier the batarians called the Butcher of Torfan, kept her neutral gaze squarely on Garrus and Executor Pallin as they walked up.

Garrus introduced himself as the officer who had been following up on her accusations, answering the questions she asked him. He noted that she was paying attention to his words. He had been around humans enough to recognize that look. As she walked off to speak to the Council, he watched her movements. Graceful and deliberate. He wondered what she would be like in battle. 

Besides him, Garrus' boss snorted. "Didn't think you liked humans, Vakarian." 

Garrus turned an angry glare on the other turian. "That's not what I ..." He shook his head. "Forget it. Am I dismissed?" 

Pallin nodded. "Don't have another assignment for you yet. I'll be in touch."

Garrus had the strong suspicion that his next assignment would be some sort of punishment or demotion. Fantastic. He _knew_ Saren was up to something, but had no proof, and no one wanted to hear that a Spectre might have gone rogue. 

Since he had some time, maybe he could find some more proof. Garrus found a quiet corner and sat down to review the files on his omni-tool - including the ones that he hadn’t shown Pallin. Work like this tended to be hit or miss for Garrus. If the investigation didn’t grab him and make him want to solve the puzzle no matter what, it frustrated him and made him want to get back to _doing_ something. He was somewhat relieved to be drawn into his own notes. He’d hoped that would happen. He _knew_ there was something more he was missing...

Dr. Michel. She ran a fairly ordinary clinic down in the Wards, did her best to stay out of trouble. So why was she being targeted by Fist’s thugs? Especially since Fist no longer worked for the Shadow Broker...

Garrus stood, checked his weapons, and caught a shuttle down to the Wards. He walked slowly towards Dr. Michel’s clinic, trying to appear casual. If he was right...

He heard a scream, and dropped into a crouch, gun drawn. “I didn’t tell anyone, I swear!” That was Dr. Michel. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Commander Shepard and her two companions coming up, their guns also drawn. Garrus made eye contact with Shepard and gave her a brief, decisive nod, then turned his attention back to Dr. Michel.

Shepard strode into the clinic, her movements just as deliberate and graceful as they had been on the Presidium, interrupting the thug’s attempt to intimidate Dr. Michel. Garrus saw the thug take Dr. Michel hostage. He also saw a chance, and without a second thought, he came out of cover and shot the thug right between the eyes.

Shepard took the cue as smoothly as though they had discussed it beforehand. Her omni-tool flashed orange and an overload spark jumped to the crate some of the other thugs had tried to hide behind. One went down instantly, the other flailed around and was easily picked off by one of Shepard’s companions - a biotic, it looked like. Garrus found himself grinning as he turned to speak to Shepard.

“Perfect timing. Gave me a clean shot at the bastard,” he said.

“Very clean. Very well done,” Shepard replied, giving him an approving smile.

“The hell? You could have hit the hostage!” the biotic protested.

Garrus resisted the urge to snarl at the other human. “There wasn’t time to think, I just reacted, I-” 

“Alenko,” Shepard said, a warning in her voice. The biotic made a sound of disgust, folded his arms, and turned away from the conversation.

“Dr. Michel, are you hurt?” Garrus asked. He should have thought of that sooner.

The doctor shook her head. “No, I’m fine. Thanks to you - all of you.”

“Why were they after you, Doctor?” Shepard asked. “Who do they work for?”

Dr. Michel explained about the quarian she’d tended, who’d wanted the Shadow Broker and been put in touch with Fist. Garrus broke in with his information that Fist had switched his allegiance to Saren. And then Dr. Michel dropped the bombshell that both Shepard and Garrus had been looking for - that the quarian could link Saren to the geth.

“I believe we should speak to Fist ourselves,” Shepard said.

“This is your show, Shepard, but I want to bring down Saren as much as you do” Garrus said, almost tripping over his words in his excitement. “I’m coming with you.”

Shepard tilted her head to the side and considered him. “Why?” she asked. Just that one word.

“Because if he’s working with the geth, then he’s betrayed everything he was supposed to stand for, and he _needs_ to be taken down. And I need to see this through.” He added the last part almost as an afterthought. But somehow, he was sure that it was that last part that made her smile warm with the same approval she’d showed earlier as she welcomed him to her team.


	4. Chapter 4

  
_Fight your foes you’re not alone_  
_Holy war is on the phone_  
_Asking to please stay on hold_  
_Bleeding loss of blood runs cold_  


_2185_  
_Omega_

“I can’t believe you’re here.”

Song Shepard could hear the weariness in Garrus’ voice. When she had sat down next to him after Garm and the Blood Pack were taken care of, his hand had found its way to hers. She had no real desire to break that contact. She wondered how long Garrus had been up here, alone, fighting for his life. It was no wonder that he wanted some physical proof that someone else was there to help him. And, if she was being honest, the contact was comforting to her as well. Garrus’ was only the third familiar face she’d seen, the other two belonging to Joker and Dr. Chakwas. She couldn’t quite shake the idea that the Illusive Man had brought her back from the dead so that she could die again, for his purposes, which made her want to keep Miranda and Jacob at arm's length. Zaeed was in it for the paycheck (at least he was honest about it), and she didn’t yet know what to make of Mordin. But from what she had seen, he had strong principles.

Much like the turian whose hand she was currently holding. 

“I can’t believe that _you’re_ here,” Song countered. “The Illusive Man told me to build a new team as my old one was no longer available, and suggested I start with Mordin and some guy named Archangel on Omega.” She smiled. “It appears I do get at least one of my old team back.”

Garrus chuckled softly. “You get me out of here, and I’ll follow you to the ends of the universe if necessary. I thought I was going to die here. The fact that it’s you…”

Song squeezed his hand. She wasn’t sure she trusted herself to speak at that moment. She didn’t know how long they had until Tarak and his gunship showed up, and she didn’t want to waste time trying to sort through everything she was feeling. And oh, were her insides churning with emotion. For now, it was enough that he was there with her.

“How did you get yourself into this mess?” she asked. “I had thought, after our talks, that you might try for the Spectres.”

Song heard him give a weary sigh and turned to look at Garrus. He was exhausted. Small wonder, with all three of Omega’s major merc groups out for his blood and converging on his home. “I couldn’t do it,” he said. “I wanted to. Every time I had convinced myself to go, I remembered that it was supposed to be with _you_ , Song. Eventually, I just - left. Made my way out here.” He gave a tired laugh. “Got into this mess.”

“We’ll get you out of it,” Song promised. She didn’t like making promises she wasn’t convinced she could keep, but this was different. This was Garrus. He had to be okay, because - because -

Her mind tried to skitter away from the possibility, the only logical conclusion to what she was feeling. Because she didn’t have strong feelings for anyone. Not since Mindoir.

“Since when are you a biotic?” Garrus asked. “Or was that a hallucination?”

Song grimaced. “A gift from the Illusive Man. I’m still getting used to it.” She was grateful for the change in subject. “The Illusive Man also gifted me with two biotic minders. They claim they will take my orders, but I do not trust them yet. Still, I hope to learn something of biotics from them..”

“Always liked that about you,” Garrus said wearily. “That you’d learn from anyone, I mean.”

“Gunship, incoming!” Zaeed yelled. Song cursed and let go of Garrus’ hand, reaching for her new Carnifex and booting her omni-tool into combat mode. 

“Almost out of here,” Song said to him. Garrus started to get to his feet. She saw the gunship line up a shot and shouted a warning that came too late.

Garrus Vakarian took a rocket to his face. The sound he made as he fell to the floor tore Song’s heart in two. For an instant, she was frozen, unable to make a move.

Then she forced herself to lock it down. She would make Tarak pay for what he had just done. She would _enjoy_ making him pay.

Song’s heart stayed cold throughout the entire battle, her mind clear when she aimed the missile launcher at the hovering gunship, her unfamiliar biotics kicking in to throw someone across the room when they got too close to where Garrus lay, unmoving. 

And then it was over, the mercenaries dead, Tarak’s gunship exploded in midair. Song rushed to Garrus’ side and knelt besides him, fumbling with his armor to try and feel for a pulse. “Garrus?” she said, in a very small voice. “Garrus, please, please…”

“Alive,” Mordin pronounced. Song jerked her head up to look at him and saw, unexpectedly, sympathy in his face. “But requires medical attention. Now.”

“Normandy, this is Shepard,” Song yelled into her omni-tool. “Get your asses down here now, and tell Chakwas that Garrus is hurt.”

“Garrus? We’ll be right there, Shepard,” Joker said.

“Shepard. Permit me?” Mordin asked. Song finally remembered that he was a medical doctor. Mutely, she moved out of his way. Her hand, caked with blue blood, found its way back into Garrus'.

“Don’t die,” Song told Garrus, as he lay bleeding out on the cold floor. “You can’t die. Do you hear me, Garrus? You have to live. You _have_ to." 

She stayed there, holding his hand and telling him he had to live, until a cold needle pierced her skin. Song only had time to turn her head and see Dr. Chakwas' regretful face before the sedatives kicked in.


	5. Chapter 5

  
_And I need you to recover_   
_Because I can’t make it on my own_   
_And I need you to recover_   
_Because I can’t make it on my own_   


_2185_  
_Normandy SR-2 (after Omega) ___

Song Shepard came back to herself, gradually. It felt like she was taking too long to focus, and that spike of anxiety at having her reflexes diminished made everything snap into place.

She was lying on a table in the Normandy’s infirmary. That must be where Chakwas had put her, after the treacherous doctor had sedated her. Anger flared, then faded. Song couldn’t really blame Chakwas for her actions. She _had_ been in the way, hysterical in her need to keep Garrus alive. It should have bothered her that she had lost the stranglehold she’d kept on her emotions all these years - that she had finally acted irrationally instead of with cold calculation. But it didn’t. Because this was _Garrus_ that had been hurt. And somehow, that made all of her irrational behavior make sense. 

“Good, you’re awake,” Chakwas said, turning in her chair to face Song. “I apologize for my methods, but-”

“No, Doctor,” Song said, taking care to enunciate her words. “There is no need. You acted in Garrus’ best interests. Had I not been overwrought, I would never have put you in such a position. You have my thanks for putting him first.”

Chakwas nodded, slowly. “I had hoped you would see it that way. He’s resting now, Shepard. We stopped the bleeding and did what we could for the burns, but - he’ll have scars.”

“Does that mean he will live?” Song asked.

Chakwas gave her a considering look. Song wondered what she was thinking. “I believe he will. Since you’re awake, I’ll let you keep an eye on him while I grab something to eat.” She rose from her chair and exited the Infirmary, leaving Song alone with Garrus.

Song hopped off the table and onto the tall stool next to where Garrus was resting. She inspected the side of his face that had taken the rocket. Her fingers reached out to trace the freshly applied bandage, gently so as not to disturb him. A knot formed in her stomach. She had been so close to losing him. _Again._

“Do you have any idea how unusual this is for me?” she asked him, not knowing if he could hear or would remember. “How long it has been since I acted in such an emotional manner? The psych experts all called it a coping mechanism. They said that after I lost everyone I loved to batarian slavers, some part of me decided that I would never care deeply about anyone ever again. I admit to having used that assessment to my advantage in some cases. I allowed people to see me as a dedicated soldier so that I could rise in the military ranks - so that I could be certain of my ability to protect myself and those around me. For quite some time, that was the most important thing in my life. And then I met you.” She laughed softly. “You showed me that I could be tough, and still care. And oh, Garrus, I am so sorry that you became more like me after I …” 

Song trailed off, unwilling to speak the harsh reality aloud. Until that apartment on Omega, her death had been just another fact she could use to project the cold determination that she had become so used to over the years.

“I need you,” she whispered. She was 16 again, kneeling over her mother’s corpse, begging her to live. “I need you, Garrus. I don’t know if I can do this without you. I never realized how important it was to have someone who actually understood me.” She laughed bitterly. “And I never told you that. Never let you know what you came to mean to me.” She took a deep breath. "I never told you that I love you."

There. She had said it aloud. There was no taking it back, no pretending that these feelings did not exist. Song looked at Garrus and wondered whether he loved her back. She thought he might, but she wouldn't believe it until she heard it from him. Her fingers traced down his injured mandible. She wondered what it would be like to kiss him. If she was wrong about how he felt... She might never find out. 

Song considered for only a moment before making her decision. Someone else might have called it a foolish impulse. Luckily, there wasn't anyone else there. She stood and tried to lean in so that she could kiss him, but the table was too high. Most of the time, Song was just fine with being considered short. Right now, however, it was acting as the annoyance that others assumed it was. She eyed first the stool, then Chakwas’ chair, and reluctantly concluded that there was too great a chance that she would lose her balance if she attempted to use either. She still felt a little unsteady from the sedative Chakwas had applied.

That left only one real option if she was going to follow through on her decision, and Song Shepard always followed through. She didn’t allow herself to hesitate by thinking through the full implications of her plan. She simply drew the curtain around Garrus’ bed and used the stool to get herself on top of him, straddling his chest. Garrus was wearing only the remnants of his undersuit. The top half had been torn away, presumably to get at his injuries. Song could feel the curves of his body quite clearly and felt a little flushed at the intimacy of the contact. Doubt was starting to creep in, but she shoved it away. Song bent her head down and pressed her lips to his mouth. His skin wasn’t precisely soft, but there was a sense of flexibility and yielding. She pressed her forehead against his and brought her hand up to rest against his uninjured cheek, and wondered if she would ever touch him like this again.

Song felt him take a shuddering breath. She lifted her head away from his in time to see his clear blue eyes open. Her stomach lurched.

“Song?” Garrus asked, sounding uncertain.

“Garrus, I - I’m-” Song said, and felt like cursing herself. She never tripped over her words like that. She started to pull away from him.

Garrus’ uninjured arm reached up and pulled her back down so that she was lying flat on top of him again. “Don’t go,” he said. The growl in his voice sent a shiver up her spine. “Please?”

Song’s breath caught in her throat. Then she leaned in to kiss him, and everything else was forgotten.


	6. Chapter 6

_I_  
_Have wondered about you_  
_Where will you be_  
_When this is through_

_2185  
_ _Citadel_

“Garrus.” Song caught his arm before he could finish opening the door of the aircar. “Wait. Please.”

Garrus stopped where he was and turned to look at her. This small, fierce woman with soft honey-colored skin and thick black hair who had won his heart, whom he trusted above all others. She was going to try to talk him out of this again, he knew. Garrus laid his free hand against her cheek before bringing his forehead in to rest against hers. “I have to do this, Song,” he said quietly. “I failed them. This is the only way to make things right.”

“Nothing can make it right.” Her voice was full of sorrow. “Killing Sidonis won’t bring them back. It won’t make what he did any less painful. I know it will make you feel better, Garrus, and for that reason alone I haven’t tried harder to stop you. I … know what it feels like, to want vengeance.”

“Mindoir,” Garrus said. “The batarians killed your family.”

“And for that, I killed a whole lot of batarians,” Song replied. She drew her head back so that she could meet his gaze. “In the name of vengeance, I pursued every last batarian on that sorry rock. I killed them while my unit died around me. It broke my commanding officer. Major Kyle - remember him? That biotic fanatic that killed the Alliance officers?”

“The one you convinced to stand down,” Garrus replied.

Song laughed. “Yeah. I wasn’t sure if he’d go for it.” She paused. “Glad he backed down. I didn’t really want to shoot that sorry lot.”

“So Major Kyle was your CO,” Garrus prompted after a moment of her standing there in silence.

Song nodded. She still looked troubled. “Torfan wrecked him the same way it wrecked me.”

“Well, you didn’t go off and start a biotic commune,” Garrus said, trying to lighten the mood. “Unless there’s something I’m missing?”

He was rewarded with a chuckle and a lift of Song’s head. His heart warmed to see her smiling at him. He’d never get tired of that smile being directed at him. “No,” Song said quietly. “But it broke me just the same.”

Garrus pressed his forehead to hers again. He didn’t know what to say to that. He wouldn’t have said that Song was broken, but he also wasn’t interested in arguing with her when she took that tone.

“I didn’t know what my revenge would get me,” Song said after a few more quiet moments. “I didn’t think about what it would make me. Who I might become afterwards. Torfan has defined me. For better or for worse… until I became a Spectre, it was the first thing that everyone thought of when they heard my name. Song Shepard, the Butcher of Torfan.” Her hand found his, and gripped it tightly. “I used to have nightmares about that.”

“You still do,” Garrus said, remembering the times that he’d been woken by her inarticulate cries and thrashing about in the bed.

Song’s laugh was wholly without humor. “No. Now… my nightmares are about Alchera.”

Garrus squeezed her hand tighter. Of course they would be.

“Let me talk to him,” Song said. “Sidonis. Let me find out why he did it before you put a bullet in his brain. I won’t stop you from taking that shot, if that’s still want you want. I just think … he owes you that much.”

If it had been anyone else, he wasn’t sure that he would have agreed. But it was Song who was suggesting this. She _did_ understand. He was as sure of that as he was of anything else in this world.

“All right,” Garrus said. “We’ll do it your way.”

He watched her as she exited the aircar, then made his way up to the catwalks and found a place that gave him a good view of Sidonis. His finger itched to pull the trigger as soon as he had Sidonis’ head in his sights, but he’d made a promise to Song.

Garrus waited, breathing evenly, until Song got Sidonis’ attention. He rose, clearly confused as to why she was approaching him.

“Sidonis, right?” Song asked. Garrus could hear her clearly through his visor’s speakers.

“Don’t use that name here,” Sidonis said, almost a hiss.

“Here’s all you get.” Through the rifle’s scope, Garrus saw Song cross her arms across her chest. Despite being nearly two feet shorter than Sidonis, she was making it clear that she controlled the situation. “Fade isn’t in business anymore. Your fate is in my hands now. You’ve got five minutes to tell me why you needed to disappear. If I don’t like what I hear, you won’t walk away from this alive.” Her voice went even colder. “So start. Talking.”

Garrus tracked the scope over to Sidonis. For a moment, he felt like he couldn’t breathe, looking at that face. Once one of his closest friends, now the person he hated most in this world.

Sidonis swore. “I —I sold my friends out. Sent them into an ambush. One of them survived, and now he’s hunting me.”

“So.” The word escaped Song’s mouth in a hiss. “You’re the worst kind of traitor. Betrayed your friends for _money_.”

“It wasn’t money!” Sidonis shouted, then flinched as some of the passers-by turned to look at him. His shoulders slumped as he hunched in on himself. “They said they’d kill me if I didn’t. I did it to save my own miserable life.” He laughed. “Miserable is right. I have nothing left except the guilt. I _should_ have let them kill me. My life … _this_ life … isn’t worth theirs.”

“If that’s actually what you want, I can make that happen,” Song said.

Sidonis flinched again, then stared at Song for a long moment. “Maybe you should,” he said. “It’d be a just punishment.”

“Not entirely up to me.” Song turned around and looked up at the rafters. “Well, Garrus?”

“Garrus?!” Sidonis jumped and looked like he was about to start running - but Song flared blue in Garrus’ scope, using her biotics to hold Sidonis in place. He now had a perfect headshot on the other turian.

“Garrus,” Song confirmed. The commotion was attracting the notice of passers-by. Garrus wasn’t sure that Song’s friendship with Bailey would be enough to let her get away with this. He needed to make a decision. Kill Sidonis, or let him go?

“If you’re going to kill me,” Sidonis said, “just kill me.” He made a mournful sound. “My life was over the minute I told the mercs how to find our group, Garrus. I wake up every night … sick … and swearing. Each of their faces staring at me … accusing me.” He laughed harshly. “I don’t sleep. Food has no taste. I’m already a dead man. Go ahead. I just want it to be over.”

There was a level of defeat in Sidonis’ voice that Garrus hadn’t been expecting. His finger twitched on the trigger of his sniper rifle.

Song was still as calm and unperturbed as ever — as though she weren’t holding a turian up in the middle of a crowded Citadel ward, holding him up for Garrus to take a shot at. “Seems to me that a more appropriate punishment for betraying your friends is to have to live with that guilt. To have to _make_ something out of your miserable life, as penance for ending theirs.” Still holding Sidonis, she turned to look back at Garrus. “Your decision,” she said quietly.

Garrus’ heart clenched. His hands trembled, and maybe that was the reason that he made the decision to draw back. “Tell him to go,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Tell him I _never_ want to see his miserable face ever again.”

He barely heard Song giving Sidonis those instructions. He took several deep breaths before ejecting the live round from his rifle and putting it away, taking his time so he didn’t do anything stupid. He felt like he was in a daze as he made his way down from the catwalks.

Song was waiting for him by the aircar. She tilted her head up to meet his eyes, not saying anything.

Garrus took her into his arms, holding her tightly, mourning his friends.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy N7 Day! Bet you thought I'd abandoned this ;)

_If all  
_ _If all goes as planned  
_ _Will you redeem  
_ _My life again  
_ _My life again_

_2185  
_ _Normandy SR-2 (after Omega)_

There were too many things about this situation that seemed unlikely. Garrus hadn’t expected to get out of that apartment in one piece, much less the space station. But when he woke up, he was on a bed in an infirmary that _felt_ familiar, battered but mostly intact. The first gift from the Spirits.

The second was _who_ had gotten him out. Song Shepard _had_ been dead, and somehow Cerberus had brought her back. Garrus had seen the wreckage of the Normandy, talked to Joker about that awful day. It was no surprise that it had taken them two years to put her back together.

And lastly … lastly, there was _where_ Song had been when he woke up. Stretched out on top of him in a way that couldn’t be anything other than intimate. Touching his face, touching _him_ with a tenderness he’d never seen from her before.

It was that tenderness, as well as the hesitation in her voice, that had finally convinced him he wasn’t dreaming. Because it was so unlike her. If he was going to dream - _fantasize_ \- about Song, it would have been with her acting bold and decisive like she always did. Instead, he’d needed to show her how much he wanted her right where she was. How much he _needed_ it, if he was being completely honest with himself.

And now she was kissing him, with her soft lips and her warm tongue. She seemed to be utterly lost in him and it was more exciting than anything he could have dreamed of. Garrus did his best to ignore the pain that came as he kissed Song, but eventually he let a soft cry slip and Song backed off. She brought her hand up to his injured cheek and traced his scars with a gentle finger. “I almost lost you,” she said quietly. “Right when I had found you again.”

“I love you.” Garrus hadn’t decided to say those words, hadn’t thought about them at all before they slipped out of his mouth. He felt his heart beating faster as he watched the effect that declaration had on Song. He watched her cheeks flush pink, saw the tender smile that spread across her face.

“I love you, Garrus Vakarian,” Song said, and the pain in his face was not nearly enough to stop him from leaning up to kiss her again. Garrus forgot to breathe, forgot everything except how Song was making him feel. Warm, and loved, and _alive_.

Her hands moved down to caress his shoulders, fingertips skimming lightly across his skin. He let out a contented sigh as the contact sent shivers up and down his spine. Encouraged, Song continued her exploration, gently tracing the outlines of his body, never pressing too hard or lingering too long on any one spot. Garrus closed his eyes, blocking out the pain and focusing on her touch.

It wasn't until her fingers brushed his erection that he realized he had one. He arched upward involuntarily, hissing out the sudden and intense desire that swelled through him. Garrus opened his eyes to see her face in front of his, her eyes bright, lips parted. He lifted his head off the bed to kiss her, answering her unspoken question.

Song broke the kiss after a few moments, breathing heavily. "You," she said, in a tone that said arguing was absolutely pointless, "are going to lie there and let me do all the work."

"That's not —"

"You can pay me back later," Song told him, a gleam in her eye, and he thought that _later_ was the sweetest word in the entire universe just then. He growled his excitement and agreement. She kissed the tip of his uninjured mandible and then pushed herself up and backwards, one hand coming to rest on each of his hips. She fitted her fingers under the waist of his undersuit and pulled it off, then went back to touching him, seeming to drink in the feel of his bare skin. Her hands moved with inexorable purpose, creeping down oh-so-slowly. _Teasing_ him, damn her. He wanted to make a witty comment, except that those clever hands were currently ensuring that the only sounds coming out of his mouth were inarticulate gasps and groans.

Somehow, Garrus managed a single word when her hand closed around his erection once more. Another word that was sweet, and joyous, and full of all the hope in the universe.

" _Song."_

Her grip tightened, her body pressed closer to his. "Garrus," she whispered. "My Garrus."

"Yours," he agreed, the easiest thing in the world to do. She smiled, lifting herself up and shifting backwards to find the right angle, then gently lowered herself down, taking him inside her as she went.

She laid her hands on top of his chest. "Remember, I'm doing all the work." Not bothering to wait for a reply, she rolled her hips forward and up, causing his breath to hitch in his throat. He wanted to tell her that he would be happy to let her do just that, but what little eloquence he'd had under her touch was completely gone now. He reveled in the sensations of the moment — her skin against his, the heat coming off of her in waves, the sounds that _she_ was making. He knew he wasn't going to last long, not under these circumstances, so he was going to enjoy every second of it.

Her pace grew faster, the smoothness of her earlier movements falling away under her growing need. Garrus could only hold on, hands pressed against her thighs, trying to give her what encouragement and direction he could, until — until —

She cried out a mere second after he did, both of them holding onto the other as they rode out their mutual climax. He let out an inarticulate sound of protest when she actually pulled her body away from his.

Song took his hand and squeezed it. "I'm just going to clean us up," she said softly. "Then I'll be right back."

Garrus returned the squeeze. That was all right, then. She was coming back. He realized he was feeling tired, even though he hadn't been awake for long. When Song climbed on the bed next to him once more, fitting under his arm like she had always done so, he let his eyes close.

He woke again when someone dropped a blanket over the pair of them. His eyes slid open a crack to see Chakwas walking away, pulling the curtain closed behind her, and then he dropped back into blissful unconsciousness.


End file.
